It is a big day at the Supreme Court and there is plenty of serious analysis being written about a potential decision that would affect countless couples, but thankfully The Onion has this take on today’s Prop. 8 hearing that is surely happening in some emotionally honest, less-backward parallel universe:
“Yeah, of course gay men and women can get married. Who gives a shit?” said Chief Justice John Roberts, who interrupted attorney Charles Cooper’s opening statement defending Proposition 8, which rescinded same-sex couples’ right to marry in California. “Why are we even seriously discussing this?”
“Does anyone else up here care about this?” Roberts added as his eight colleagues began shaking their heads and saying, “No,” “Nah,” and “I also don’t care about this.” “Great. Same-sex marriage is legal in the United States of America. Do we have anything of actual import on the docket, or are we done for the day?”
